By Jim Mcleod 
Osiris (2025)
Special Forces commandos are abducted mid-operation by a mysterious spacecraft and, upon awakening, find themselves prey to a relentless alien race in a fight for survival. (IMDB)
Written by William Kaufman and Paul Reichelt
Directed by William Kaufman
Osiris: Big Dumb Alien Fun, Movie Review
Osiris opens with a crack US Special Forces team shooting up an unnamed town while getting hunted by the enemy. Time is running out and they are pinned down. Their only option is to call in an air strike that could kill everything, including them. Just as they are preparing for the end, an unexpected “saviour” arrives in the form of aliens, who beam them up into their ship, ending the conflict. Well, technically, the fighting ended when the aliens liquidised the enemy, but that’s probably just splitting hairs.
Waking up on the aliens’ ship, the team end up fighting for their lives against an angry alien race who might, or might not, be wanting to eat them. Or perhaps just catch them to put them back on display in their souvenir cabinet. Seems like there was some kind of invasion and the aliens like to take trophies!
To be fair, the reasons behind the abduction probably don’t matter all that much.
Do not expect much of Osiris to make sense. This is a film in which people make consistently dumb decisions. Even aliens with clearly superior technology and, one would assume, intellect, make dumb mistakes, but we are in it for a ride and that is what we get.
There is so much you could question, such as why aliens would take soldiers as souvenirs, but with fully loaded automatic weapons in trophy cases that are clearly susceptible to a power cut? Or, and this is a particular bugbear of mine, why do people NEVER pick up discarded weapons from their downed enemies? Especially when said weapons pack an incredible punch because they are alien tech!?
One guy finds an alien rifle lying around early on and uses it, but it is 90 minutes into a 107-minute movie before anyone else thinks to grab another one, despite downing many enemies along the way. Considering how ineffective earth bullets seem to be in the first half of the film, you would think people would be keen to trade up.
However, as the film progresses, their bullets seem to have more impact and some of the aliens drop like flies; it’s as if the effectiveness of the earth weapons vary depending on how important it is to the plot. Every death in the movie is telegraphed and the survivors at the end of the film are exactly who you would expect; there are very few surprises along the way in Osiris.
And this is on top of it also being derivative of so many great films like Predator, Aliens, Pandorum, anything of that ilk; there is even a Star Wars nod in one scene.
Everything is working against Osiris, it shouldn’t be a good film and, from everything I have said so far, you would imagine I’m going to pour disdain on the movie in some attempt to be edgy and cool.
Well, I’m not.
Osiris was a blast. I was pleasantly surprised and had fun with it. I just wanted to make it clear that your expectations going into Osiris are going to be directly proportionate to your enjoyment.
So, now that’s out of the way, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty; does any of the above matter when things don’t slow down long enough for you to care?
In case you aren’t sure, no it doesn’t.
If you stop long enough to think about it too much, you will be able to pick hole after hole, but that is no fun (yes, I’m aware that’s what I have just done). Just go in knowing that it does what it says on the tin. Do I want complex back stories and character development in a movie like this? Not always no. Do I want to see cookie-cutter characters shooting the shit out of Aliens? Yes, yes I do.
And that is what you get. Just switch it on, chill out and enjoy the action.
Osiris is what you might call, big dumb fun.
The plot is less important than the action. We have trained killers, trapped on an alien spaceship, and we just want to see them fight their way out. And Osiris sets the bar in the first few minutes as Kaufman directs a pretty impressive run-and-gun action sequence with a mind-boggling body count that would have seen a lot of “complete 20 headshot” style achievements being won on the PS5. The opening of this movie is bonkers, frenetic, and probably where most of the budget went, but it sets us up for what the rest of the film is; a ride.
The direction is frantic, there is loads of gunplay and running down corridors, and the cast all do a great job of grunting and “bro-ing” their way through the scenes. And you get Linda Hamilton in for good measure. The rest of the cast fill their stereotyped roles perfectly with Bros losing Bros, wisecracking buddies, and heroic acts and sacrifices.
From what I can find on t’internet, the movie had a budget of just under $7m and the team use it well. The effects are all generally decent and good enough not to detract from the movie. The opening scene is a bullet-storm of epic proportions, marred only slightly by some CGI blood spray but, at this speed, that’s a blink and you will miss it affair. I liked the grungy, rust-bucket design of the alien spaceship and this drives home the fact that these guys aren’t friendly.
Considering they are aliens, and clearly advanced technologically, I loved the idea that their ship was a bit shitty and, with the power out, they were using very low-tech, earth-like C-clamps to hold their doors open! The aliens themselves are an interesting design. Humanoid-like aliens are always a go-to for keeping budgets down, but the team here have produced something suitably menacing and the “man in a suit” effect detraction is kept to a minimum. With a mouthful of teeth and no visible eyes (although with what might be very large nostrils – all the better to smell you with); it’s a formula we are largely familiar with, but it works.
As mentioned, the plot isn’t all that important, our guys just want to escape and get home. They meet some other captives on the way and find out bits and pieces about the alien invasion along the way. It is fairly simple but still has some interesting little twists and turns.
Osiris is one of those movies that people are going to find it easy to shit on. In fact, for a lot of these movies, I think people get caught up in some sort of weird “coolness cult” where they can’t help but agree with the online edgelords and add to the bitching. I saw one comment online that was simply “not an original idea in sight.” Is that always a bad thing?
Predictability can sometimes be a bonus; sometimes you might just want the familiarity that allows you to play “guess who dies next” and sit back and be entertained. Is it really that bad? IMDB currently have it scoring at 7.5 although there are no reviews at time of writing. I might not go that high, but I suspect that is a reflection of people just going with it, rather than trying to Roger Ebert the hell out of what is the movie-equivalent of a shot-em-up.
Don’t get me wrong, Osiris is not perfect and there are a number of issues with it if you stop and think about them carefully but, as I keep saying, you aren’t really supposed to do that with this kind of movie. Grab a beer, turn the lights down and enjoy the show.
Osiris comes to streaming on 28th July and on DVD/BluRay from 1st September from Signature Entertainment
Further Reading
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Lastly, with its focus on both mainstream and indie films, the Horror Movie Review section is an excellent resource to stay updated on upcoming releases and trends in the horror landscape. For any horror buff, exploring The Ginger Nuts of Horror Review Website is an essential step toward a deeper connection with the genre.
Hope Madden